"I listened to his words very closely"

We may not be aware of it; but the words we utter daily
may have different interpretations, even if you think that
they mean the same thing.

Here's an example.

Would you rather have someone tell you that you are "slim,"
or would you like to hear that you are "thin?" Being slim
has a slightly positive effect because it is attributed to
health and fitness.

Rather than saying you have failed, just mention that you
have not yet achieved success. Get the picture? Always
try to speak words in the most positive manner you can
think of.

Here's another important advice.

Never compare the negative qualities of one person with
another.

A former boss of mine has this to say to me when I made
an error in my previous day job, "James (not real name) is
doing a much better job than you are. He's not committing
any mistake like you do."

That crushed my heart. My boss thought this would motivate
me to do better. Nope, it just hurt my feelings and lowered
my self-esteem. Of course, I would never make the same
mistake again after her harsh scolding. I've learned my
lesson well. But she could have said it nicely.

Experiences arising from discouragement and condemnation
will have a negative effect on the recipient.

Some parents might believe that instilling fear on their
children would improve their performance. They would
say, "You're always failing. Why can't you be like your
brother? You're such a disgrace to this family."

Now that's not the proper way to do it. They should inspire,
encourage, and motivate their children; not belittle them
even further.

They should tell their children that they have the capacity
to achieve great things, if they would only put a little more
effort. Teach them values that would make them feel important
and loved.

You may even go as far as giving them qualities that they
do not yet possess. By giving them confidence and by making
them believe that they have such characteristics, they will
eventually acquire such traits. Tell them how bright you
think they are, and you will soon be surprised at the
results. They will significantly improve if you firmly made
them believe that they have the capacity to do so.

So if you ever wanted to persuade or encourage someone to do
better, make sure that he or she is motivated out of
inspiration, and not out of fear. Give advice that cares,
and not offensive words borne out of hatred or anger.

Think first before you speak. Many relationships have been
ruined by the wrong choice of words. Some people voice out
anything that comes to their mind, without first filtering
the good words from the bad ones. This might result in
misunderstandings and arguments, which could have easily
been prevented if we speak out in a way that is neutral
and non-offensive.

Words are very powerful indeed. Use them responsibly for
the benefit of all.

To learn how to improve your communication as well as other skills visit the http://www.welcome-to-self-improvement.com site.
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About the Author
Willie Krut is the core provider of a selection of self help products that truly help people to improve their life, health and career. Subscribe to the free Willie's Newsletter, visit the
http://www.welcome-to-self-improvement.com site.