David Westbrook
Approximately 860 words
© 2005

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Confessions of an AdSense Addict

Because I used to work on a crisis line, I've heard a-lot
stories of how drugs crept up on people and took over their
lives. I once talked to a self-admitted drug dealer who had
trafficked in pot for years. It was how this person made
most of her living; she even had a state issued medical
marijuana card so that she could always be in possession
without getting busted. One day a friend introduced her to
the profits that could be made from selling methamphetamine,
so she started dealing crank; doing a little herself on the
side. A month later, she was calling the crisis line looking
for treatment. Crank was destroying her faster than she had
ever imagined possible.

On December 22, 2004, I was making my living in the normal
way that a lot of people do, working for the man. That
evening I had to drop my dog off at my brother-in-law's
house before leaving town for a hard earned Christmas
vacation. He's "retired" from a major software manufacturer,
which means he accepted a lay-off when they were doing a
little reorganization. Tired of working for Corporate
America he has been trying his hand at self-employment for
the past couple of years. The night I dropped my dog off, he
was excited about something called AdSense, which I had
never heard of. He is not an excitable man, but he was
excited about having earned $6,000 off his website that
month. I had built one rinky-dink website in my life, and
the idea of doing that and sitting back to watch the money
roll in excited me greatly. On the way home, I called my
wife and talked her ear off about it.

Having worked extra hours to get everything ready for my
absence, and knowing that I would return to a backlog of
work, I had been looking forward to spending time with
family and friends and getting in a little skiing to boot.
It took me just under three-hours after touching down to
sneak into my father's den and begin looking up information
on AdSense. Later my wife was flipping through a recent
issue of Discover Magazine and came across a short article
on Google's ad program. In a move that fueled the fire and
which I am sure she is now sorry for, she excitedly showed
me the article. Serendipity, that's what I called it. I
spent more time on the computer during our vacation than I
did with my family. When my wife and friends went skiing I
said I wanted to stay home and hang out with my dad. Of
course, I meant my dad's computer.

On December 26, 2004, I knew how to make my fortune and
registered two domain names. We got home on January 3, 2005
in the morning, and that afternoon I was building web pages.
Within a week, I had built the first few pages of my first
site. Plagued by viruses, an old slow system, and a lack of
knowledge about how to do what I was trying to do I was
moving slower than a slug on a salt bed. On January 6, I
bought a new computer, installed virus protection, and
loaded on a firewall. The fact that I was hiding the bills
from my wife was a sure sign of addiction.

On January 14, my wife would be leaving for a three-week
business trip, and I relished the time I would soon have
alone to work. A few days before her departure, we had a
talk about the lack of time I was spending with her and I
promised to do better, but every time she would walk into my
office I would hit the monitor's power button and pretend
like I had been reading. The night before she left I stayed
in my office working till midnight, then got up at 5:00 so I
could work some more before having to leave for work. As I
quickly hurried to shower and dress for work, she wanted to
know if "this" was what I meant by spending more time
together. I protested that I had finally been able to get my
pages uploaded and they even had ads on them. She rolled her
eyes; I kissed her goodbye, apologized, and promised that I
would not neglect the house while she was gone.

For the past three weeks, I've been functioning on 4-5 hours
of sleep per night. I have bags under my eyes, friends say I
look haggard and like I am losing weight. The dishes are
stacked up, the carpet hasn't been vacuumed in weeks, I have
no idea if our washer and dry work any longer, and I've lost
track of the piece of paper that says when my wife is
arriving at the airport.

Lately, I've been wondering if it's all worth it, if I
should seek help, maybe find a 12-step program for AdSense
addicts before I loose my wife. Honestly, I was thinking of
quiting for good, but then I checked my AdSense earnings.
I've made $3.45. Hopefully my wife wont mind taking a taxi.

David Westbrook is a freelance writer and creator of
http://www.addictionsresources.com as well as
http://alcoholismresources.com If anyone has seen his wife
please contact him, recoveryresources@gmail.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
David Westbrook is a freelance writer and creator of
http://www.addictionsresources.com as well as
http://alcoholismresources.com